At some point I seem to have lost all of my drive with photography. I became tired with what I was seeing and even more so, what I was making. I realize now that I had reached a level of frustration by not being able to get pictures to be how they should look in my head, I was limited by my knowledge of cameras in general. I became bored with shooting nudes and felt that I had done everything I had set out to do there.
These days, I've rediscovered a magic in photography by picking up old film cameras. I love letting go of control and shooting pictures of moments or places. I love waiting to see how the pictures will look. I had never really thought of cameras before. They were just something I picked up and shot. I was spoiled by a live screen and a camera with a computer brain of it's own. Then I would obsessively tweak and often destroy a picture with my quest to have total control over the image in post.
Shooting with point and shoots and film SLRS has completely awakened a connection with photography that I never had. For many years, it was just something I did. Sometimes I did it well enough. Then there was this level of expectation, and it carried on until I lost heart and it just felt like I was copying myself or going through motions. Now I'm back in a wilderness phase, and I love it. You can only have so much control over nature, and art is as much a part of nature as the rivers. Stagnated water can become a horrible place for anyone to swim.
There's no better place to be as an artist than where you're working for yourself out of inspiration, where you can get so inspired that you don't care what anyone else thinks.
I'm also looking forward to getting further into movie making, so I have a new project coming up. For now, i just wanted to stop by, say hello, and give an update on where I am with my work right now. I'm in that place where I'm collecting pieces and I know they will all come together n a way that makes sense.
I've been through a lot in the past few years, as most of us have, and I'm waking up o a total shift.