Found out that falling asleep during a Woody Allen movie results in the ability to do a perfect impression. Too bad the only person entertained by a perfect Woody Allen impression is an old roommate who I hope I never see again.
I was trying to sleep but I could hear the sound of a TV coming from below my bed. Nobody lives below my bed, that's where the garage is.
When I went to investigate, I discovered that someone had installed an entertainment center into my garage door. Must have been one of those garage door makeover shows because they actually did a pretty good job, the final result looked a bit like a jet engine covered in old bakelite wall receptacles.
They also installed a very powerful fan. Not necessary.
While I was down there I noticed that I have terrible noise leakage, if you were to stand below my window you would probably be able to hear me farting in my sleep, and I'm NOT a loud sleep farter.
Time to break out the can of expanding foam.
BTW how cool is that shit?
Also, why not just combine it with aerosol cheese? Hello instant massive cheese puffs. Hello a billion dollars.
Later on when I was trying to sleep, a really creepy girl wandered in to my room totally sleep walking. She was a complete stranger and other than totally giving me the standard sleep walker willies, she didn't seem to mean any harm so I didn't try to wake her up. I gently guided her to the front door and sent her on her sleepwalky way.
This whole city is basically sleepwalking anyway.
I'm the Potential Willi Wonka of SAVORY Snacks.
Here is some video proof, aided by Frederick Van, that I can and DO sometimes turn off my normally very Barry Whiteish voice as to be more like a commoner. LINK. And HERE is More Proof, as aided by Rollertrain, that I haven't a clue how to shut up in an interview. LINK
That's all for now.
Don't get caught constantly reminding the old roommates that THEY MOVED OUT AND CAN'T KEEP STAYING HERE.
Your Favorite Memory From This Blog Post,
Expanding Cheese Foam In a Can