the last month, my stomach has been a wreck, for no good reason, no good story, no good excuse for prescription medicine, no cure from the back page of a comic book..  lately my hands have been shakey, irrational thoughts, and random toothaches.  last month, my  friend Jess told me she wished summer was over and it was winter.  fuck me.  fucking bloody hell.  i'm so terrified of the future.  it's like the only thing consistent now is how inconsistent everything is and the only truth i find is in chaos, but even that is a false truth, a lie because i've been down that road before.